Choosing Confidence with Alyssa Dver

Josh (00:00:03) - All right. We got five minutes on the clock. What is your name and what is your podcast show?

Alyssa (00:00:07) - My name is Alyssa Dever. The podcast is real confidence, and we talk about the science secrets of confidence with a touch of tough love.

Josh (00:00:18) - I experienced your tough love. I interviewed you back in 2017 or 18 on one of my other shows, and you talk about confidence, and one of the questions that I had for you was, you know, being a podcaster, some days, you know, you have a rough day. You, you know, you have a client fire you or, you know, you lose some money or for me, I went bankrupt or whatever. And then you got to jump in that next day, hit record and you got to you got to be on game on confidence for a for another person. How do you do that?

Alyssa (00:00:49) - Well, first of all, it's not limited to podcasters, let's be honest. Right. But you don't have to be on game.

Alyssa (00:00:54) - You get to choose to be on game. Right. And if you are going to be a podcast host and you want to make not just a business out of it, but have an impact, have people listen. You should make the choice to be confident, right? Because confidence is attractive, it is empowering and the best way to get it. Josh is actually to give it to somebody else. You know, people are like, what? I'm like, yeah, like, you know what? As a podcaster, when you're interested in your gas, when you're listening to what they say, when you're giving them an opportunity to say something of meaning and impact to somebody else, you're empowering them and giving them confidence. Realize that that's a superpower. As a podcaster, you have.

Josh (00:01:34) - Yeah.

Josh (00:01:35) - Man. So good. All right, so give me give me some tactical. All right, so you and I are doing an interview together. What are some ways that I can do as a podcaster to help give confidence to you, but it also boosts mine.

Josh (00:01:48) - Like, what are some tactics?

Alyssa (00:01:50) - Well, even before you get there, right. If you're like, oh man, just life sucks, I can't do this, go back and look at some of the comments or some of the emails or or other messages you've gotten from past podcasters. Go remind yourself that you are awesome at this, right? Get that neural engine transmitting good positive dopamine. Like, yes, I'm good at this. I can do this, right? That's first and foremost, don't even sit down and expect that it's going to happen when you sit down at the mic. So get, get, get jazzed or give yourself a little warm up just like you would if you were an athlete. Right? So when you're there, the other side of it is really pay attention to what the other person thinking is a podcaster. Yeah. You want to have a script or a framework and you want to be eloquent, right? You want to be able to say what you really mean, especially if you only have five minutes.

Alyssa (00:02:36) - But if you don't pay attention to your guest, there's not going to be that connection. There's not going to be that exchange of confidence. So you got to pay attention. And I guess the last thing is. Roll with it, right? You can't control what other people are going to say. So just be a little bit more flexible, a little more agile and roll with it. Have a bit of a sense of humor. Don't take yourself so seriously, but at the same time, you know, follow your follow your guests, let them lead a little bit. Give up some of that control. It can actually lead you to even a better place than when you started. Of course.

Josh (00:03:09) - Yeah.

Josh (00:03:09) - What great advice. I was doing a podcast interview and I had a really bad day. And before the interview the person's like, hey man, how are you? And I go, I'm really crappy. And they're like, cool, let's talk about it. Because they were a coach and it was for my show for men.

Josh (00:03:24) - So on the podcast show, like, the person who I was interviewing was a coach, and they stepped into their zone and they came alive. But that all came from me going, life sucks right now. But I was vulnerable in transparent. So like. As you're doing this, what are some of the things that you do to show vulnerability? Because confidence sometimes appears like, I'm okay, everything is great. How do you how do you be confident and vulnerable and transparent? How do you do that?

Alyssa (00:03:54) - Oh gosh. You're not. Give me a lot of time to answer that. 30s 30s. You know what being vulnerable doesn't mean? You get to win all the time. I always say being authentic doesn't give you permission to be an asshole either, right? And a lot of people will confuse those with confident. A confident person did would do what you said, right? I'm not having a great day. But you know what? I'm safe to be here with you today, right? Like that's my problem.

Alyssa (00:04:18) - Thank you for asking. Acknowledge that you appreciate them asking. I'm having a great day, but I'm really glad that we're here together. You know, kind of flips the conversation that says life happens. I'm going to get through it. But right now I'm focused on you as my guest. And I think, you know, a confident person does does those kinds of choices not I think I know they do because if I let that bad day get in my way, I'm just going to get in the way of that guest going to get in the way of all those listeners and I, that's not responsible. So I'm going to choose to take my crappy day after the show.

Josh (00:04:50) - Wow.

Josh (00:04:51) - Super cool. Where can people go to learn more of these confidence tips?

Alyssa (00:04:55) - Easy. American Confidence Institute is our website. If you put a forward slash podcast, you'll see all my podcast. Of course, we're on all the other channels folks tend to listen to.

Josh (00:05:05) - Awesome. And we did that all in five minutes guys.

Josh (00:05:07) - We'll talk to you all on the next episode.